I have a dream of helping others find health and healing while I am finding health and healing for my family and myself!
Abuse shows up in many forms Emotional, Verbal, Psychological, Sexual, Physical, Neglect, Family Violence and/or Domestic/Spousal Violence. Many people are self-abusive sabotaging their well-being, cutting, drugs, alcohol, over eating etc. All of which leave emotional and physical scars.
Our experience may be similar but they are each unique. Even though many people could have been at the same event each person experiences and remembers those events through our own eyes. Each of us may experience of the same event but we will recall the event differently. My blogs will be from my perspective of my life I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. I am not a Doctor, Counselor or Therapist. I believe it is important to work with Doctors, Counselors and Therapist, energy work and spirituality to find health, healing and balance.
I am grateful for my family and my parents. I know that they did the best they knew how. I grew up in a family that teased each other. Unfortunately many times it went too far. I was over weight, dyslexic a very typical type 3 personality. (Learn more about it from Carol Tuttle, MRET.) I was very insecure. The teasing at home and school took its toll on my self-confidence. Despite this I had a lot of friends and was involved in school activities like choir, the musicals and sports.
In the mid 1990s, I was married for the first time. Because of my insecurities I did not see some of the signs I should have before I was married, but about 3 months into my marriage X (my ex-husband) would criticize me, my cooking, housekeeping and more. This got progressively worse where he was doing it in front of family and friends. He started making more comments about my appearance and would not let me go anywhere without doing my hair and make-up. He would not let me play sports or go workout, because then I was away from him.
The verbal abuse turned to sexual abuse with him raping me if I was not willing to have sex. At one point he told me it was his right because he was my husband. As time went on he would hit me if I didn’t do what he wanted me to do. X would tell me he would “Kill Me” if I told anyone. So I would lie thinking it was keeping me SAFE. I lived in fear and I could not see a way out.
I am eternally grateful that at a Superbowl party just under 2 years into my marriage 3 of my friends saw through the lies. The events that day started me on the journey of getting out. When we walked in one of the guys complemented me on the way I looked and X responded, “It’s about time she looks good.” As the event went on any time someone something complimentary he would discount it. X followed me anywhere I went during the party. When he went to use the restroom, 3 of my friends pulled me outside and asked me what was going on. I told them I was fine and that nothing was going on. They told me they way he was treating me was not normal. I continued to deny it out of fear.
One of my friends arranged with X to come to our home the following Sunday with my younger sister and make us dinner. The morning of the dinner X beat me up and raped me laughing as he did it. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. At dinner he acted liked nothing happened and was very loving and caring.
The next day at work I was very distracted. The closer it got to the end of the day the more scared and emotional. My co-workers caught on to this. I told them I was afraid to go home. One of my co-worker called my dad and told him he needed to come get me. He followed me to my home and we packed up as much as my stuff that could fit in our 2 vehicles and I went to stay with my parents. There are people to support you. I am eternally grateful for those who helped me get out. I am eternally grateful for those who helped me get out.
Unfortunately being the first one to go through anything like this in my family, it was not talked about (or at least not with me). To this day, my parents and siblings don’t know what really happened me. So now several years later I am working on healing.
During my lifetime I have dealt with depression, chemical imbalance, postpartum depression, self-abuse, self-sabotage, injuries, surgery illness and more. I want to help others on their journey of healing and wholeness.
No matter what journey you are on and what you are going through there are people to help and support you. Don’t go through it alone!
Email your stories to share on the blog (Please include if you would like to remain anonymous)