Inside Out has become one of my favorite movies. It helped me put some of what I have experienced into perspective. For me when my depression and anxiety are bad I am like two different people. Inside life is spiraling out of control, I am raw, overwhelmed, and I just want to sleep and be left alone. On the outside I am going 100 miles per hour worried what people think of me or that they might see me falling apart. The voices in my head that are the loudest and seem to take over all the others are similar to the characters Fear and Sadness.
I know that it is pretty common to have depression and anxiety at the same time, but it doesn’t always manifest the same way. Everyone has ups and downs, but depression and anxiety take those ups and downs to the extreme. I was first diagnosed just over 11 years ago, but I believe I have been experiencing my since my teenage years.
As a teenager I often thought I was going crazy. No one else seemed to be experiencing the highs and lows like I was, but I was ashamed of how I felt so I didn’t want to talk about it either. The older I get the more I realize that the silence only added to my depression and isolation. The more I isolated the more suicidal I became. Thinking everyone would be better off with out me around. Gratefully, I had friends who unknowingly would help pull me out of the lows.
Is I have started sharing my personal journey I have found support from my family and friends along with a group of others who fight as well. I have come to recognize when the darkness is setting in. Sometimes I can find ways to pull myself out and other times I need additional guidance and strength from others. I have realized there is no shame in asking for help and taking care of myself. It is okay to say no or let people know you can’t take on new responsibilities.
Life is a roller coasters filled with highs, lows, twists, and turns. Sometimes you enjoy the thrill of the ride and other times you just want to get off. Sometimes we follow the safety guidelines and other times we through cause to the wind and think we know better. I choose to stay on the ride, get help when I need it, and share my journey in hopes of helping others.
All of the characters, Joy, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Anger play important parts in of our lives. As I look back each episode has taught me something, helped me become who I am, and brought me to being able to share. I choose to have Joy at my control panel, but recognize that the others like to have their turn as well.
Please remember everyone has his or her own journey here on earth. No one experience life exactly the same. We each have our own trials, experiences, and triggers and my intent is to aid in the healing process and it is to add awareness to a growing problem not cause anxiety or pain. . Our experience may be similar but they are each unique. Even though many people could have been at the same event each person experiences and remembers those events through our own eyes and will recall the event differently. My blogs will be from my perspective of my life I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. I am not a Doctor, Counselor or Therapist. I believe it is important to work with Doctors, Counselors, and Therapist along with Energy Healing, Essential Oils and spirituality to find health, healing and balance.