Trigger Warning: Triggers are different for everyone. You never know when they are going to show up. I am sharing in hopes of helping others. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Warrior started being bullied in 6th grade at which time she became suicidal. Add on top of that, puberty triggering a chemical imbalance. I was also in a suicidal place at the time which lead to a perfect storm and falling out with my sisters. The two of us together can be a volatile situation. My efforts to help her often ends with us triggering each other instead. I often feel guilty for the genetics I have past on to her and only want the best for her. I want her, Blue, and other who struggle to know they are not alone.
Warrior just shared with me 2 poems she has written as English assignments that brought me and JJ to tears. I am grateful Warrior can put her feelings into words and that she is not afraid to share them with me, and her dad. I am also grateful she had the courage to share them with her English Class where she was asked a lot of questions and admitted that she struggles. I am share it in hopes it will help others know they are not alone. I asked her if I could share them here so you can hear her struggle as well as her strength. I am so proud to be Warriors Mother.
Before I slip away remind me of when we met
Before I slip away tell me you love me
My Friend, I’ll always be by your side
When I Slip away I want you there
When I slip away I want you to remember who I really was
Love, keep our memories close
When I slip away I’ll have no fears
When I slip away I’ll know I’m truely free
Momma, I can’t feel the pain anymore
When I slip away I’ll remember my childhood
When I slip away I’ll think about what you taught me
Papa, I’m still the child you raised
After I slip away don’t you cry
After I slip away celebrate my life
I love you more than you know
The Warrior Within
There are days she can’t get up, says the bed in her room
She finds her strength from music, says the headphones nearby
You can see her varying amounts of pain in us, say the clothes in her closet
She runs from her fears quite often, whisper the shoes on her feet
She rebuilds her strength through the ice, say the skates in her bag
The scars she carries are reflected on her freshly taped, damaged Warrior stick
The jersey on her back whispers, She has an army watching out for her.
She is unwilling to stop fighting for her story to continue, states the semi-colon ring on her finger
In unison they all scream, There is a Warrior in her that you cannot see.
Kenny Holland’s B.O.A.T.S. EP has been a key factor in Warrior’s healing and journey. Take a listen(Make Sure to listen in order). Here is one of my favorites:
Everyone has his or her own journey. I honor Warrior for sharing hers with you. We each have our own triggers and interpretations of life. My intent is to add in the healing process not cause anxiety or pain. Our experience may be similar but they are each unique. Even though many people could have been at the same event each person experiences and remembers those events through our own eyes and will recall the event differently. My blogs will be from my perspective of my life. I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. I am not a Doctor, Counselor or Therapist. I believe it is important to work with Doctors, Counselors and Therapist along with Essential Oils, Energy Healing and spirituality to find health, healing and balance.