Today it has been seven weeks since my right knee replacement and two weeks away from my left knee replacement. As I reflect back, it has been a very emotional journey. There was anxiety going in to the surgery even though I had a plan. I had researched and written a protocol to support my Healing from a Knee Replacement. This gave me piece of mind for the things I could control, but I found myself worrying about the unknowns. My therapist had given me tapping techniques to use to get me through the anxiety attacks. What I did not prepare myself well for was the depression.
The two weeks I slept a lot while managing my pain and physical therapy. By the third week I noticed the depression setting in. I had been inside with very little natural light. I could not do a lot being on crutches and so tired. I had to have someone all the time. I had to be takes to doctors appointments and therapy. I was feeling trapped. I had no routine which causes internal chaos.
One night as I was getting ready for bed I told JJ I couldn’t do it again. I was feeling guilty for being so tired and needing so much help. He reminded me that I need to focus on why I am doing it, not the pain and the emotional roller coaster. He said, “Just like you can’t decide if you are having another baby right after having one. Now is not the time to decide if you can go through with another knee surgery.” I am grateful for his wise council.
I realized the anxiety and depression I am experiencing is common when recovering from any illness and surgery. As I talked about how I was feeling I realized Blue went through the same emotions while preparing and recovering from each of her surgeries. I realized I needed to start getting out of the house for more then just appointments. I always use essential oils to support my emotions*, but that was not enough. Getting dressed and going outside helped improve my mood and emotions. I needed fresh air, natural light, and good old Vitamin D from the Sun.
Last night once again as I was getting ready for bed the anxiety of the next surgery started creeping in. JJ once again talked me through it and encouraged me to blog about it. I know more of what to expect. I have a good support system and plan in place. I will get outside more even if to just sit on the front porch.
I am grateful for the experiences I have had for the tools I have gain through therapy. I know I found the perfect therapist to assist me in my healing. I am grateful everything I am learning about essential oils and the support they give our bodies in healing physically and emotionally.** I am grateful I am able to recognize when I am being triggered or when I am fighting anxiety and/or depression. I am grateful for my friends and family who are my support system. They encourage me to ask for help and talk about my emotions, which assists me in moving through them more quickly than before.
Everyone has his or her own journey. We each have our own triggers and interpretations of life. My intent is to add in the healing process not cause anxiety or pain. Our experience may be similar but they are each unique. Even though many people could have been at the same event each person experiences and remembers those events through our own eyes and will recall the event differently. My blogs will be from my perspective of my life. I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. I am not a Doctor, Counselor or Therapist. I believe it is important to work with Doctors, Counselors and Therapist along with Essential Oils, Energy Healing and spirituality to find health, healing and balance.
*Classes on using essential oils to support emotions:
**These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.