Normal does not exist as personal characteristic. It is all relative to your family, friend, culture, country etc. Let me explain.
I grew up striving to be NORMAL, a normal size, a normal weight, a normal girl (I was a tomboy), a normal reader, a normal student. I wanted to fit in and to be accepted. I didn’t feel like I fit the mold my family, teachers or peers had. As I watched television I didn’t feel like I fit the mold the world had for me.
When I got married I thought that would be different. I had fall in love with someone who loved me back and we would create a beautiful life together. I thought the options of everyone else would no longer matter. That all changed as X would begin putting me down and telling me how bad I was at this or that.
As I started opening up to friends and now the world, I have realize that everyone has their own insecurities. Those who I was striving to be like wanted to be like someone else who they thought was normal.
I decided to look up the definition of normal.
Normal – adjective
-conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
-serving to establish a standard.
Psychology.
- Approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
- Free from any mental disorder; sane.
Biology, Medicine/Medical.
- Free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation, or from experimental therapy or manipulation.
- Of natural occurrence.
Reading through the definition I realized NO ONE I know fits those descriptions. I had been striving for something unattainable my entire life. That being said, I still compare myself to others but a different prospective.
I still have body image issues and long to be a different size. I still have insecurities about my personality, reading and abilities. It is also hard to take recognition, gratitude, or complements from others. Depending on my cycle of depression I abuse myself with these comparisons. It is a viscous cycle that can spiral out of control.
One of the tools I have learned is affirmations. There are several great resources for guided affirmations, but you can create them for yourself. Some of my favorites are I learned from Carol Tuttle. Repeat them out loud daily as many times as you need to start to feel they’re true and repeat them daily or multiple times a day:
“I am experiencing lots of energy and vitality.”
“I am seeing the good in all of the events of my life.”
“I am experiencing that I have all the time I need.”
“I am grateful to be alive.”
“I am attracting people who are safe and respectful.”
“I am experiencing money flowing easily into my life.”
“I am free of debt.”
“I flow easily within the structure of time in my day.”
“I am creating more and more of what I want effortlessly.”
“I am assisted by the powers and spirits of heaven.”
“I appreciate myself and others do too.”
“I am experiencing my life as simple and easy.”
“I share myself easily and I am understood.”
“I am grateful for my healthy body.”
“I am comfortable moving forward with my life.”
“I am successful.”
“I am making a difference.”
Healing is possible as we focus on setting goals of ourselves based on what we want to accomplish instead of comparing ourselves to others. Goals like making healthy food choices 90% of the time, working out 5 times a week, learning one new talent a year, reading 2 books a year. Set your goals and set your affirmations to match those goals.
- I am making healthy food choices.
- I am working out 5 times a week
- I am learning to write.
- I am enjoying reading
Find what touches, moves and inspires you for YOU, not for anyone else! Here’s to discovering who you are and who you want to be. I will be right there with you.
As with each blog I write, I want to acknowledge that everyone has his or her own journey. Our experience may be similar but they are each unique. We each have our own triggers and my intent is to aid in healing cause anxiety or pain. I also want to acknowledge that even though many people could have been at the same event each person experiences and remembers those events through our own eyes. Each of us may experience the same event but we will recall the event differently. My blogs will be from my perspective of my life. I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. I am not a Doctor, Counselor or Therapist. I believe it is important to work with Doctors, Counselors and Therapist along with Essential Oils, Energy Healing and spirituality to find health, healing and balance.
Beyond Abuse Essential Healing 