In 2007, while taking a life course I was learning new ways of seeing the world, my past, my depression, my anxiety, my weight issues and more. I was finding the balance that I had been missing in my life. That was when I was first introduced to energy work and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). During that time friend gave me a copy of Carol Tuttle’s Book “Remembering Wholeness” and I also started studying the work of Louis Hay. During that time I started practicing what I was learning. I was exercising regularly and feeling balanced and whole.
In 2011 while running a half marathon, there was a pop in my left knee followed by pain at about the 7 mile mark. I was determined to finish the race and I did. After months of pain and swelling (I know not a great idea) I decided to see my doctor. I found out I not only need surgery on my left knee, but my right knee was just as bad. I have previously had knee surgery on my right knee in 2003 and my left knee in 2006, so I thought I knew what to expect. I was also told it would be a simple surgery to clean out arthritis and repair the meniscus with a 4-6 week recovery and physical therapy.
We scheduled the surgery for March of 2012. Coming out of the surgery I was in the worse pain I had ever felt up to that point. I was crying and asking for my husband until the pain killers kicked in. They told me they would get my husband once I was stable. I knew something was wrong, but I never imagine what would come next. My doctor came in and said, “Your done”. I said, “Okay” and he responded, “No you are done, no more running, no more basketball, no more soccer, no more jumping. Your knees where worse then we thought. The surgery took longer then expected. You are complete bone on bone and you will be needing knee replacements but we don’t like to do them until you are 50 or 60 or we have to repeat them.” My heart broke. I could no longer do the things I loved. I would not be able to run and play with my kids.
I was on so many pain killers I don’t remember much until the third morning after the surgery. I woke up in so much pain I was SCREAMING, CRYING and SWEARING. I wanted to died, I didn’t know what to do. from that point I started living on pain killers. I had to have people do everything for me. What was I thinking doing both at the same time. I, thankfully, had help from friends and family members. My 4-6 week recovery took 6 months I had to get used to my new normal.
My depression and anxiety returned. I wanted to died. I couldn’t get off the pain killers and I felt out of control.
My sister introduced me to essential oils and I started using them to support my body. With them I was able to get off the pain killers and I started exercising again, but I still was not feeling great.
I believe there is a higher power and that each of us can receive guidance from our higher power to find what we need to restore balance. As I have been looking to my higher power for guidance I have been lead to energy healing an essential oils to bring balance back into my life. I did it half hardheartedly trying to prove I was not worth it. I continued to spiral out of control.
I was challenged during a business training to find my “Why”. Why am I doing the things I am doing? To answer this I once again I asked my higher power for guidance. The answer shocked me, I heard an audible “I told you what to do and you aren’t doing it.” It required me to returned to the basics, daily exercise, scripture study, energy work, using essential oils, prayer, and meditation. I realized that I decided my life sucked and worthless when my doctor told me I could no longer do what I loved. Now it was time to choose something different.
I started studying Carol Tuttle’s work again. In “Remembering Wholeness” it states, “We are in charge of our minds. No matter how we are feeling physically or emotionally, we are free mentally to think any thought of our choice.” It goes on to say, ” Our mental body is at a higher vibration than our emotional body”, meaning our minds are more powerful than our feelings. We have been trained to listen to our feelings and create thoughts that match our feelings. Therefore, if we are feeling negative feelings, we will think negative thoughts. We believe we cannot start thinking and perceiving ourselves in a positive light until we feel positive feelings. Take charge of your life by taking charge of your thoughts. Change your life by changing your thoughts.
To find balance and wholeness we must change how and what we think. Our thoughts become our reality. Choose to think about what you want more then what you don’t want. Choose to think about who you want to become not what you are.
I have started using affirmation to change my thoughts.
- I am whole and complete
- I am balanced physically, emotionally and spiritually
- I am abundant
- I am free of my families story of pain, lack, and struggle
- I am free of past restrictions, I choose daily who and what I want for myself and my life
- I am powerful
- I am healthy and strong
- I am lovable
- I am patient as my body heals.
- I am a wise steward of money, give graciously and receive gratefully
- I am in-tune with my higher power, I am grateful for the guidance I receive
I add to my list daily and I am seeing a positive shift in my feelings and actions. I am finding the balance and wholeness I desire. There are still ups and downs. I have been living in my negative destructive patterns on and off for most of my life. I know that each minute, hour, and day I choose to apply what I am learning I can shift how life shows up for me. Each time I choose my thought rather than let my thoughts choose my mood, I find awareness. I know that this is only the beginning. I know how easy it is to slip back into old patterns. I know I have found balance, wholeness, joy and abundance before. I choose to find it again.
Everyone has his or her own journey. We each have our own triggers and interpretations of life. My intent is to add in the healing process not cause anxiety or pain. Our experience may be similar but they are each unique. Even though many people could have been at the same event each person experiences and remembers those events through our own eyes and will recall the event differently. My blogs will be from my perspective of my life. I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. I am not a Doctor, Counselor or Therapist. I believe it is important to work with Doctors, Counselors and Therapist along with Essential Oils, Energy Healing and spirituality to find health, healing and balance.