Domestic Violence Healing

Domestic Violence is different for each person who experiences it. It can be emotional/verbal, physical, sexual, or all of the above. Those who have experienced Domestic Violence can be triggered by actions, words, sounds, and smells. My X-Husband started be belittling and controlling me. Other than work, I could not go anywhere without him. He started demanding sex and hitting, pinching and throwing things at me. He would rape me and tell me it was his right because he was my husband. I was lucky enough to have friends see through the lies and with the help of my family, I was able to get away from my X-husband safely. We tried marriage counseling while we were separated, but the therapist told us he would not continue to see us together. During my first session with him on my own he told me that if I returned that he would kill me. He gave me an abuse wheel and the only two types of abuse I had not experienced from my X were pet abuse and child abuse because we did not have either of them at the time. After that session I didn’t return because having grown up in a family where you don’t talk about your problems I thought once I was out of the situation I would be fine.

I was not fine. I lived in fear and often found myself triggered and reliving those emotions. I have been out of that situation for just over 18 years and the smell of the cologne he wore still triggers. My heart starts racing and my anxiety is peaked. I look for him and my escape routes. I have found if I can quickly smell something else I am able to bring myself back to the present. I carry doTERRA’s Citrus Bliss Lotion with me. Citrus Bliss is the Invigorating Blend which helps reduce stress and uplift the mood.

Just as the Domestic Violence is different so are the essential oils that can assist in their healing. Over the last couple of years I have been working with Dr. Kim Palmer to work through the nightmares and triggers. We have use rapid eye therapy and essential oils to assist in my healing and move me through the triggers. As I continue the work at home I use the essential oils topically and aromatically in a diffuser. I have used the information I have been learning from doTERRA as well as additional literature to select the oils and blends to assist me move through the triggers and the emotions it invokes, finding compassion and forgiveness and returning to peace and joy.

I use different oils for the same emotion based on what triggered that emotion. Sometimes when I am feeling anxious I use Breathe – Respiratory Blend when I am triggered by something to do with my children. Other times I need Balance – Grounding Blend and Lime together for anxious feelings that is triggered by nightmares. And as I stated before I use Citrus Bliss – Invigorating Blend when my anxious feeling is fight or flight triggered by a scent that reminds me of my X-husband.

Dr.Hills, Founding Partner of doTERRA International presented the following research using Essential Oils for Emotional Health.

The following slides are from Dr. Hills 2016 Convention Presentation “The Intricacies of Our Emotions”.

slide1 slide2 slide3

In The Essential Life book it states that the following oils and blends can be used topically and aromatically to assist in abuse trauma(internally harmed or injured by another person). To the side of the oil or blend are the emotions that they assist as listed in Emotions & Essential Oils: A Modern Resource for Healing and the Emotions & Essential Oils Wheel.

  • Frankincense – Abandonment, spiritually disconnected, distant from father, unprotected, spiritual darkness
  • Cedarwood – Inability to form bonds or social roots, loneliness, feeling disconnected or separated from the human family, antisocial
  • Focus Blend (doTERRA’s InTune) – Distraction, lack of physical presence or awareness, daydreaming, procrastination, scattered
  • Joyful Blend (doTERRA’s Elevation) – Caught in love vibrations, feelings of self-doubt or sadness, dark, serious, stern
  • Comforting Blend (doTERRA’s Console) – Grief, loss, traumatized, anxious, restless, emotional pain, unsettled
  • Geranium – Abandonment, loss, distrusting, unforgiving, unloving, disheartened, heavy hearted, grief
  • Juniper Berry – Irrational fears, recurrent nightmares, restless sleep
  • Melissa – feelings of self-doubt or sadness, darkened, dreary, suicidal, overwhelmed
  • Roman Chamomile – Purposeless, discouraged, drudgery, frustration, unsettled
  • White Fir – Feelings that are generational or hereditary, burdened by the issues of others
  • Encouraging Blend (doTERRA’s Motivate) – Discouraged, Lack of Motivation, stagnant, unable to move on

In Emotions & Essential Oils: A Modern Resource for Healing and the Emotions & Essential Oils Wheel book it states the following oils and blends can assist in the emotions from abuse:

  • Jasmine – Unresolved sexual trauma, resistance to sexuality, sexual addiction
  • Cinnamon – Sexual Abuse, body rejections, fear, controlling, jealousy, sexual repression, over-active sexuality
  • Clove -Victim, defeated, dominated, enslaved, fear of rejection, intimidated, controlled by others, co-dependent
  • Helichrysum – Intense sore, anguish, turmoil, hopeless, despair, trauma, feeling wounded
  • White Fir – Feelings that are generational or hereditary, burdened by the issues of others
  • Cardamon – Inebriated by anger, easily frustrated, objectifying others, blaming, unable to think clearly
  • Douglas Fir – Negative generational patterns, burdened by the issues of others

In 2015 doTerra release their Emotional Aromatherapy System contains six unique essential oil blends that have been formulated to support for targeted emotional health benefits.

  • Motivate – Encouraging Blend – Discouraged, Lack of Motivation, stagnant, unable to move on
  • Cheer – Uplifting Blend – Burdened, hopeless, heavy hearted, helpless
  • Passion – Inspiring Blend – Self-denial, regimented, dutiful, joyless
  • Forgive – Renewing Blend – Critical, judmental, resentful, bitter, cynical, angry
  • Console – Comforting Blend – Grief, loss, traumatized, anxious, restless, emotional pain, unsettled
  • Peace – Reassuring Blend – Controlling, attached, afraid


In addition to the oils listed above I have supported my emotions and healing with the following:

  • Balance – Grounding Blend – Undergrounded, unwilling to take responsibility for self or life, disconnected, unstable, scattered
  • Bergamot – Despair, low self-esteem, self-judgement, unloveable, hopeless
  • Breathe – Respiratory Blend – Sadness, grief, unloved, distrust
  • Citrus Bliss – Invigorating Blend – Fear of self expression, stifled, emotionally imbalanced, low will to live
  • Deep Blue – Soothing Blend – Resistant to sore, avoidance of emotional issues, hysteria in hurtful situations, saddness
  • Grapefruit – Hate for the body, addiction to food or dieting, eating disorders, anxious about appearance
  • Lime – Apathy, resignation, grief, suicidal thoughts and feelings, discouragement
  • PastTense- Tension Blend – Stress, overworked, nervous, burnout, overwhelmed, fatigued
  • Serenity – Calming Blend – Resentment, bitter, anger, sadness, perfectionism, unwilling to forgive

Essential Oils are an amazing companion to therapy and energy work, they have their own energy that help accelerate the healing. I am grateful for the guidance I have received from Emotions & Essential Oils: A Modern Resource for Healing and the Emotions & Essential Oils Wheel and the dōTERRA Oil Properties Wheel to help me find the oils I need to support my emotions and healing process. I have also been introduced to a powerful book called The Healing Questions Guide by Wendi Jensen . It asks specific questions that correlate with the emotional and psychological roots that create pain, then introduces a new possibility to the mind, release stale, toxic subconscious programming and activate healing in the body. I have been able to see that limiting beliefs and toxic program that was imprinted as I was in my abusive marriage. I have also been able to see imprinting from my childhood as well as from my ancestors.


I am looking forward to adding to my knowledge emotions and essential oils with fun and whimsical new blends in Book: I Am Fabulous – by Desiree Mangandog. I often use the following blend I created to assist my emotional well-being when I become triggered from my abusive past.

My last blog shared a guest bloggers testimonial of using essential oils to assist her. Working on my inner wounded child

As we become more familiar with the basic chemistry of essential oils we can understand how and when to use the essential oils to achieve the best results. doTERRA has created Essential Oil Properties Wheel for their oils. I know that essential oils in combination with traditional and energy therapy have benefited me in my continual healing process. I have found that healing is a daily practice, not a destination. I hope that my experience give you insight into ways you can assist those you work with move through their triggers and emotions.

Everyone has his or her own journey. We each have our own triggers and interpretations of life. My intent is to add in the healing process not cause anxiety or pain. Our experience may be similar but they are each unique. Even though many people could have been at the same event each person experiences and remembers those events through our own eyes and will recall the event differently. My blogs will be from my perspective of my life. I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. I am not a Doctor, Counselor or Therapist. I believe it is important to work with Doctors, Counselors and Therapist along with Essential Oils, Energy Healing and spirituality to find health, healing and balance.






4 thoughts on “Domestic Violence Healing

  1. Wow this is an awesome post! I am a domestic violence survivor and I never even thought of essential oils for healing. I am healed but at times go through episodes of anxiety and nervousness. I use essential oils already for migraines. I will try some of these for the nervousness and restlessness. Thanks!


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